Constructively Handling Guilt in Employees

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Guilt in the Workplace

Causes, Effects, and Recommendations for Managers

Guilt is one of the most complex emotions in everyday work life and strongly influences the relationships between managers and employees. It often arises in situations where a manager unintentionally, through decisions, behavior, or communication, evokes the feeling that the employee is "not doing enough" or not meeting personal expectations. This feeling can occur on both the manager's and the employee's side, especially when expectations, feedback, or decisions are not clearly communicated.

How does guilt arise?

Guilt can arise from various triggers in the workplace. It usually stems from the perception of having done something wrong or not having met expectations. In the relationship between manager and employee, guilt often arises when the manager's behavior is perceived as unjust, misleading, or inconsistent.

Example:
A manager delegates a challenging task to an employee without providing sufficient support. The employee feels guilty because they feel unable to complete the task as expected and worries about having disappointed the manager.

Where does guilt come from?

Guilt often has deeper psychological origins and results from social and cultural norms. In the workplace, personal expectations and social comparison processes also play a role. Employees tend to compare themselves with colleagues and derive their own expectations from this. If these are not met or if there is a feeling of not living up to the manager or the team, guilt often arises.

Example:
An employee who compares themselves with particularly committed colleagues might develop the feeling that they should also work longer, even if this is not strictly necessary for their position. If they leave work on time, guilt can arise because they believe they are less committed than their colleagues.

What behavior triggers guilt?

Managers can unintentionally trigger guilt in employees through various behaviors. These include:

1. Unclear Communication: If instructions or expectations are vaguely formulated, employees feel insecure and guilty if the results do not meet expectations.
2. Unrealistic Expectations: If the manager sets unrealistically high goals, employees feel pressured and worry about failing to meet expectations.
3. Lack of Appreciation: A lack of recognition or ignoring efforts can cause guilt if the employee feels inadequate.

Blame can be triggered by various behaviors and forms of communication from a manager - often unintentionally. These imply that the employee is personally responsible for a problem, which can quickly evoke feelings of guilt.

What can the manager do about it?

To avoid guilt, managers should reflect on their communication behavior and use the following approaches:

• Constructive and appreciative feedback: Instead of focusing on "why," the manager could ask: "How can I support you so that the next presentation is finished on time?" This treats the problem as a shared concern. In general, questions that seek a solution and questions that are future-oriented are more constructive and less burdensome.
• Mistakes as a learning opportunity: Mistakes should be seen as an opportunity for improvement and communicated accordingly. One approach would be: "What can we do differently next time so that we achieve the goal together?"

Through such targeted behavioral changes, the manager can create a supportive work environment that avoids blame and motivates employees without them feeling blocked by guilt.

Impact of Guilt in the Work Relationship

Guilt has far-reaching consequences in the work relationship. It affects self-esteem and often leads to the following negative effects:

1. Reduced Performance: Guilt distracts concentration from the actual work goal and leads to diminished performance.

2. Loss of Motivation: Employees with strong feelings of guilt often find their work stressful and lose the drive to actively participate.

3. Deterioration of the Work Relationship: Guilt leads to a negative self-image and affects the work relationship, as the employee feels less comfortable and may lose trust in the manager.

Empathetic and clear communication is the key to preventing guilt from arising or mitigating it.

The issue of self-esteem and guilt can often be addressed in the work context, for example, through appreciative leadership and constructive feedback. However, in certain cases, self-esteem problems or guilt reach an intensity that goes beyond the scope of a manager's influence and requires therapeutic support. It can be helpful for managers to recognize signs that indicate that a psychological burden or an emotional problem is so profound that professional help is needed.

When does the topic become therapeutically relevant?

Self-esteem and guilt in employees should be considered therapeutically relevant when they exhibit the following characteristics:

1. Persistent Intensity and Duration: If the employee is severely affected over a longer period (e.g., weeks or months) and no improvement occurs through conversations, appreciation, and support at the workplace, this indicates a deeper problem.

2. Impairment of Performance: If self-esteem or guilt leads to the employee being hardly able to cope with their work, hesitating strongly, or frequently being "blocked," this could be a sign of more serious emotional problems.

3. Physical and Emotional Symptoms: Constant fatigue, exhaustion, frequent absenteeism, withdrawal, nervousness, or restlessness can be signs that guilt and self-esteem problems represent an excessive burden.

4. Self-doubt and Negative Self-talk: If employees regularly speak disparagingly about themselves ("I'm just not good enough," "I always do everything wrong") and repeatedly feel guilty, even for minor mistakes or problems, this may indicate an underlying psychological problem.

5. Negative Impact on Team Relationships: Frequent conflicts, pronounced insecurities in social contact, or strongly pronounced feelings of shame and tendencies to withdraw are further indicators of increased suffering that may require therapeutic help.

Example:
An employee makes a small mistake but reacts excessively self-critically, speaks of "inability," and is depressed and self-doubting for days. In team meetings, he hardly speaks, avoids eye contact, and appears permanently tense. Conversations with the manager and supportive measures at the workplace show no improvement.

Ideal approach for managers in such cases

In such a situation, it is crucial that the manager proceeds empathetically and respectfully, as the topic is sensitive and often associated with shame or fear of stigmatization.

Example of an ideal approach:
A manager notices that an employee has been suffering greatly from self-doubt and guilt for months and that this is increasingly affecting their work. The manager holds a confidential conversation, showing understanding and suggesting that the employee access the company's external counseling service. She emphasizes that there is no shame in seeking support and offers an open ear at any time.

Studies and Scientific Sources

Numerous scientific studies deal with the effects of guilt in the workplace and its management. Research findings suggest that guilt often leads to negative effects on work motivation and well-being, and that managers play a central role in the prevention and management of these emotions.

1. Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2002). "Shame and Guilt." New York: Guilford Press. - This study examines the psychological origins of guilt and its emotional effects.
2. Barsade, S. G., & O'Neill, O. A. (2014). "Manage Your Emotional Culture." Harvard Business Review. - An article describing the importance of emotional intelligence and emotional culture for managers. Weblink: https://hbr.org/2016/01/manage-your-emotional-culture
3. Fischer, A. H., & Tangney, J. P. (Eds.). (1995). "Self-conscious Emotions: The Psychology of Shame, Guilt, Embarrassment, and Pride." - A comprehensive analysis of guilt and its effects on social interactions and relationships in the work context.
4. Bagozzi, R. P., Verbeke, W., & Gavino, J. C. (2003). "Culture Moderates the Self-regulation of Shame and Its Effects on Performance: The Case of Salespersons in the Netherlands and the Philippines." Journal of Applied Psychology, 88(2), 219-233. - A cross-cultural study examining the role of guilt and shame on performance.
5. Colin Wayne Leach "Understanding Shame and Guilt" Department of Psychology University of Connecticut

Conclusion

Guilt in the workplace can have profound effects on the relationship between managers and employees. By developing empathetic, appreciative, and constructive leadership behavior, managers can avoid guilt and foster a positive work atmosphere. Clarity, emotional intelligence, and regular feedback are crucial factors in making the work environment more harmonious and productive for all involved.

However, if these feelings are persistent and significantly impair the employee's well-being and performance, it is advisable to discuss professional support. Managers should always act empathetically, non-judgmentally, and supportively to maintain the employee's trust and facilitate the path to appropriate help.

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